Pill Poppers
by FunbagsMcBooty
Summary: How did House know Cuddy was on birth control? Oneshot;Huddy. Based on the episode 'Mirror, Mirror'. Rated M


"Just for the record. I know when my Vicodin isn't Vicodin. Do you know when your birth control isn't birth control?"

Cuddy's smile slowly faded as he flashed a crooked grin at her before hobbling off.

She prayed that he was kidding, but knowing House it was probably wishful thinking.

How long had he been switching them out? She suddenly felt as if she'd been splashed with cold water, and quickly turned on her heel, and headed for the clinic.

They'd been sleeping together for five months. She had only switched his Vicodin a few days ago, but he was vindictive, he could have gotten the idea long ago. But no matter the timeline the possibility of her being pregnant was very good.

Cuddy pushed her way into exam room 1, locking the door behind herself before making her way to the counter and pulling out a needle, a vile, and a tourniquet. She would have asked someone to do this for her but she'd rather not have everyone in the hospital know before she did.

After cleaning the crook of her arm, and tying the rubber strip around her arm she located her vein, and pushed the needle in with a slight wince. She drew some blood into the syringe, then slowly pulled it out, pushing the tip into the top of the vile, and pushed the plunger down.

Her hands were shaking as she pushed the vile of her blood into the pocket of her lab coat. That tiny bottle held answers that could possibly change her life forever, but then again House could have been talking out of his ass like he usually did.

Her heels clicked on the tile floor as she navigated her way to the blood lab. It was empty, thank god. She didn't want to explain why she was down there.

She set up the test, waiting nervously for the results to print out of the machine in the corner and cleaned up her mess. She knew she'd hear the paper spitting out of the printer, but she couldn't help but glance over it every so often.

Ten nerve wracking minutes passed before the paper rolled out of the printer, keeping her head down. She waited to her the hum of the bar moving back into position to announce that it was done. Instead she was met with the sound of paper being snatched up, and familiar rough voice.

"I win."

Her head snapped up, looking at House. She stood, trying to grab the paper from him but he held it over his head, and out of her reach.

"Give me the paper."

"I would've been more than happy to run your test for you."

"House! Give me...the paper!"

The anger was evident in her eyes. He slowly lowered his arm, and her hand instant grabbed onto the paper.

Her eyes scanned rapidly over the words on the page, and she felt her heart sink.

"I told you. I win."

"How do you win?"

"You mess with me, I mess with you."

She stared in disbelief, her mouth hanging open a bit.

"You got revenge...by getting me pregnant? What kind of tactic is that?!"

"A bad one, but it satisfies me. It should satisfy you too. You get the kid you've always wanted and I get pleasure in watching you in misery for nine months."

"You're an asshole."

"And yet you still love me."

"Please...the only person that could love you is your mother. And it's a stretch even for her."

"Says the woman that has had passionate sex with me every night for the past five months. Stick with medicine, Cuddy; cuz you suck at acting."

She clenched her jaw, turning sharply on her heel and walked from the room. Every time she thought he'd reached the peak of his devilish ways he managed to pull something even more diabolical out of his ass.

* * *

"I'm coming!"

She screamed in annoyance as she sleepily navigated her way to the front door, her head pounding from the incessant banging on the door. It didn't take a genius to guess who was on the other side.

Her fingers fumbled with the lock on her door before she was finally able to get it open.

"What do you want, House?"

He gave her a grin. That stupid, arrogant grin that made her want to slap him, but he'd probably like that.

"I came to see my baby momma, and to get a little lovin'."

She rolled her eyes, her hand sliding over her face in attempt to wipe the tiredness from her eyes.

"You've gotta be kidding me. The last thing I plan on doing is sleeping with you."

"But moooooom!"

"Oh my god..."

She groaned her words, leaning against the door frame while she stared up at him, her head shaking from side to side.

"You really don't have any type of guilt, do you?"

"Why would I?"

"Oh...I don't know. Maybe the fact that you turned my dream into an act of revenge. I know you won't understand but that means something to me! I don't want to go through knowing that my child is revenge baby! And I sure as hell don't want the kid knowing that!"

"Stop being stop being so dramatic. You've been depressed, and I know it's because of this whole...not being able to conceive thing. So I thought I'd help you out."

"Gregory House felt compassion? I find that hard to believe. And I have not been depressed, I've been stressed, there's a difference."

He simply shrugged, pushing his cane against her hip to force her into the house. She tried to resist but the pain of the cane pressing into her hip made her take a few steps back, making enough room to walk in.

House shut the door behind himself, flipping the cane around, and hooked it around Cuddy's waist, pulling her body against him.

"Let me show you just how compassionate I can be."

He growled sexily at her, and she rolled her eyes.

"I am not having sex with you."

"Why not?"

"Because...because I'm disgusted with you!"

"You're going to tell me that you're surprised I would do something like this?"

"No, I'm surprised that you expect me to have your kid, and have sex with you without you accepting your responsibilities as a father!"

"You'd want me in that things life?"

"First of all, it is not a thing..."

She pushed herself off of his chest, standing in the middle of the foyer with her arms crossed tightly over her chest.

"And second, yes, I would. But you aren't exactly dad material so you probably should have thought about that before you replaced my birth control with Tic Tacs!"

"Zofran, actually.

"You drugged me with anti-nausea pills?"

"Well, I figured if you started getting morning sickness you'd notice too quickly."

"You are an ass. Get out."

Instead of turning and leaving he stepped toward her. She held her hand up to stop him, but it was to no avail.

"House, stop."

He enveloped her in his arms, covering her mouth with his own. She refused to give in. She gave into him far too often. She gave into him when it came to work, when it came to sex; especially when it came to sex, and for once she wanted to say that she had been able to say no and stick her ground.

After a few moments House noticed she wasn't returning the kiss.

"You can't be that mad at me."

"Says who?"

He cocked an eyebrow, suddenly shoving her against the wall a bit harder than he had meant to. She looked up at him, her own brows knitted together. She opened her mouth to ask what he was doing but before she could his hand was roughly thrust between her thighs, and his fingers were proding at her center causing her to gasp.

"Well, either your body can think for yourself, or you really do want me."

She squeezed her thighs together then pushed him away.

"Don't."

"Why?"

"Because!"

"That's not an answer."

"It is for me."

She pushed herself off of the wall, starting to walk back to her room.

"You know the way, let yourself out."

Before she had even gotten a few feet she felt familiar hands on her, and the wall at her back. His hands gripped her upper arms roughly, and she glared up at him.

"You have five seconds to let me go."

"Or what? You really should stop with the empty threats. You're going to make me start thinking I can get away with whatever I want."

"You're an-"

"Ass, yeah, I know."

He pressed his lips to hers again, and she groaned against his mouth, still trying to push him off. She was only half-heartedly fighting him, and he knew it.

The kiss moved from her lips down to her neck where he greedily sucked and nipped at her flesh.

"House, get off."

He ignored her and kept at his work. She knew that she'd have more than a few love bites the next morning, but there was a part of her that just didn't care. He had that ability over her. The things that once mattered to her were put on the back burner when he touched her.

His arms encircled her waist, making sure she couldn't get away and dragged her off to the bedroom. He tossed her onto the bed with the smallest effort, and locked the door behind himself.

"Take the robe off."

He turned to her, shrugging his jacket off and dropped it to the floor.

"Ever heard of saying 'please'?"

"Now."

His voice was gruff, and commanding, and to her surprise she actually listened. She bit her lip, peeling her robe back to reveal that she wore nothing underneath.

She'd become accustomed to going to bed naked, so it wasn't exactly a shock for either of them to see her choice in bed attire.

There was something animalistic in the way that he looked at her. His jaw clenched as his eyes moved down the curves of her body, and he stripped the rest of his clothes before limping to the end of the bed, and moving up it, dragging his kisses, and rough bites over her flesh causing her to wince and moan every so often.

He finally reached her lips, but kept his own from hers as he smirked.

"What was that about being mad at me?"

"I'm still mad at you."

"I like when you're feisty."

She unexpectedly brought her hand up, slapping him hard across the face. The contact was loud enough to echo through the room.

Once he had gotten over the initial shock her glared down at her, pinning her wrists to the bed.

"Are you trying to piss me off?"

"Now why would I want to do that?"

"I don't really think you want to test me, Cuddy."

"You really should stop with the empty threats. You're going to make me think I can do whatever I want."

She mocked his previous snark and was met with a mouth bruising kiss.

It had always fascinated her that House became aroused by her smartass comments, but she figured that it had to do something with the fact that he liked their playful banter at work, and that translated in the bedroom.

Something in House changed on this night. His movements were more urgent, almost desperate, and he seemed to be trying his damnedest to get every possible reaction out of her, and they hadn't even finished the foreplay yet.

Cuddy was quivering as House's lips traveled over her flesh, his mouth creating a strong suction over every part it fell on before his teeth sank into her tender flesh. She would no doubt look like a leper the next morning. But experience; and good make-up, had helped her to cover most of them up for nearly half a year, and no one had noticed, that or they just hadn't said anything to her face.

House worked his tongue over the curve of her clavicle before he bit down again, causing her to cry out, but not in pain. He would never bite her hard enough to hurt her, but they were both masochists in a way. They enjoyed fighting, and causing each other emotional pain. It was their idea of foreplay. It got them both excited, and brought them to edge of hating each other, which made for great sex.

They used work to get out their need to verbally dominate the other so that when they got home all they would need was a simple glance, or a slight moan to direct the other of what to do.

House was completely aroused; and Cuddy was more than ready for him, but no matter how much she angled her hips toward him, or arched her back he refused to give into her. He enjoyed teasing her; it was just another version of foreplay.

"God, damn it, House!"

She growled into the top of his head as he sucked at her pulse point. She was an impatient woman, and even though she was angry at him she wanted as much of him as she could get.

He let his lips curve up into a grin before slamming himself inside of her. The force was enough to cause her to scream, and her hands flew from their spot on his back to her headboard.

House felt a sort of satisfaction from being able to get her to make sounds like that; even if his leg burned in pain. He'd taken more than enough Vicodin before he came over. He'd be good to go.

His hips slowly started to pull back, and pushed forward just as slowly, his lips now gently moving over her neck.

Small moans escaped Cuddy's mouth; having gotten over the initial shock of the harsh intrusion. She dropped her head to the side, her lip gliding over her swollen red lips.

House's arms slid under her toned back while he began to speed up his thrusts, holding her closer to him.

As much as she enjoyed the gentleness it wasn't what she wanted; what she needed. She was pissed off, and a romantic night of making love was the last thing she wanted.

She slid her hands to his chest, using all of the force in her arms to shove him onto his back, never once letting him slip from her. She figured this position was better. She'd be in control. Plus, he wouldn't be using his leg much and she wouldn't have to watch him silently sulk about how much it hurt.

Cuddy's hips moved at a rapid pace, moans flowing out of her mouth so loudly that they bounced off the walls.

House grit his teeth, groaning, and grunting, his hands gripping her hips tightly; too tightly. There would no doubt be bruises the next day, but she didn't seem to mind much; or at all really.

Her nails scraped over his chest to drag a bigger reaction out of him. He gasped loudly, moaning her name breathlessly which caused her to smirk.

She threw her head back, her dark curls flowing down her back. Her sweaty body lit up in the pale moonlight pouring in through the thing curtains on her window. She was sure her closest neighbor could probably hear them, but that really didn't matter to her. She'd take a few awkward looks for the orgasm she was about to get.

Cuddy's thigh muscles burned from the repetitive motion of lifting, and dropping her body weight, but she refused to slow down. Her climax was fast approaching, as was his.

He had started to lift his hips to meet her thrusts, his head pressed hard into the pillow beneath him. He muttered incoherently, sliding his hands up and down her thighs roughly a few times before settling in the crease of her thighs. He looked up at her, letting his thimb move to the small nub of her clit, rubbing it rapidly. He could tell she was getting tired, and he wanted her to finish before he had.

A sharp gasp spilled out of her mouth when she felt the pressure, and her body bitched forward, the tell-tale scream of her orgasm ringing in his ears. Her inner walls clutched at him greedily, and the newfound tightness sent him into his own strong climax.

He groaned loudly, but it was drowned out by Cuddy's loud screams of pleasure.

The rush ended as soon as it had started, and she let her body fall lazily next to him, her limbs sprawled out at odd angles. She was glowing with post-coital bliss, and suddenly her anger was no longer there; at least not much of it.

She slid her hand up his chest, kissing his shoulder lightly.

"I hate you sometimes."

He turned his head, smirking at her as his hand moved over the swell of her breast, gently squeezing it.

"But you love me all the time."


End file.
